Sex is a healthy, fundamental component of all good relationships. It unites men and women everywhere, both physically and emotionally and allows both the guy and the girl to truly unleash and express their animalistic AND sensual sides. But no one’s sex life is perfect – things slow down, the energy seems to disappear, it’s not as fun or exciting as either of you would like, in short, it needs improving. So what can you do to get back (or even create for the first time) that special spark that makes great sex so…well, great? Here are 4 top tips.
1. PLAY GAMES. The thing that often grinds sex lives to a halt and makes lovemaking become so much of a hassle is the pressure and responsibility that surrounds the whole subject. For the man, there’s the burden of having to make the girl reach her own climax. For the woman, there’s the strain of making sure her man is sexually satisfied and not bored and liable to go looking elsewhere for sex or questioning the stability and longevity of the relationship they’re both in. To counteract these negative pressures, try making having sex a less traditional, scheduled, boring task. Instead, pick a couple of fun games that you can play together that are fun and flirty and that can lead casually and smoothly into the actual sex. Twister, strip poker and spin-the-bottle are all great games that incorporate physical contact and allow both you and your partner to have a little no-hassle, no-responsibility fun that does or doesn’t have to lead to a bout of impromptu lovemaking.
2. NEW LOCATIONS, NEW POSITIONS. People often have a very 2-dimensional outlook on the nature of sex and how one should go about having it. The vast, vast majority of people, for example, only have sex in the bedroom. And even they have a set routine, lights dimmed or off, the same progression through the various stages of sex: a little foreplay, intercourse in missionary and maybe doggy if the guy’s lucky and the girls feeling up to it, then it’s pretty much over. Even if your personal situation has more life than that, sex in the bedroom can still become a drag after a while. So, switch it up. Think about different locations you can use: the living room, bathroom, kitchen…consider all possibilities, even if they at first seem far-fetched and silly. Also, think about locations away from the home once in a while. Motels and cheap hotels offer a couple a fresh place to explore each other. Secondly, improvise and experiment with the positions you use. Missionary, girl on top, spoons, and doggy are all great, but always try to mix in a few more unusual, adventurous ones to spice things up. Even if you find yourself in a tangle with your partner, you’ve still had fun and been spontaneous, which is a key component of any great sex life.
3. COMMUNICATE FANTASIES. Something few men and women do is talk to their partners about what turns them on, about things they’d like to try, scenarios they’d love to act out, etc. etc. Make telling your partner about things that turn you on a regular thing and, in return, you listen to their previously private fantasies and day-dreams. If doing it face-to-face is too embarrassing, consider sending saucy messages via email or text message. You’ll find that after reading about what really gets your partner going, you’ll be much more excited and motivated to please them sexually, and they’ll feel the same way back!
4. SPECIAL OCCASIONS. When you do the same thing many times, even if it started out feeling new and exciting, it can get a little run-of-the-mill and boring. So, to inject a real sense of passion and renewed excitement into your sex life, make certain evenings special nights in (or out, then in!). Go the whole way to making it feel almost like a celebration and do whatever’s necessary to separate it from your usual lovemaking sessions. Popular favourites include getting dressed up separately from your partner, perhaps at a friend’s house, then meeting them in a restaurant for a meal. Then, on returning home, you can indulge each other with a slow and sensual massage or perhaps carry out one or more of the fantasies you’ve been hinting to each other about. From there, sex can begin – maybe on the floor of the living room or even on the stairs – remember, impulsiveness and adventurousness are a turn on, use them to kick-start your sex life!How to give any woman an orgasm…every time!
It’s like the Holy Grail for men – making a female reach orgasm when we sleep with them is of the utmost importance to us men and often our number one priority, even outranking our own sexual needs. But why is making a woman cum so high on our to-do lists when we’re in the sack and, once you know it’s something you’d like to be able to do, how do you give a woman an orgasm each and every time? Is there a special technique, a magic touch, or is it in the lap of the Gods whether or not she makes that elusive “O” face (and actually means it!)
Before we get into the techniques - the science behind female sexual gratification - let’s first have a quick look at the subject of orgasms as a whole.
The male climax, which combines ejaculation with an orgasm, is – unless a guy has got something pretty seriously wrong with him – a foregone conclusion in sex. We guys know that when we cum it’s usually end game for us, so we tend to use our orgasms as a marker – the amount of time that elapses between first insertion to final climax constitutes our sexual performance, good or bad. Whether we last as long as we’d like, or do all the things we’d love to do, we’re always guaranteed that predictable pay-off at the end of it all.
Women, on the other hand – and somewhat unsurprisingly – are totally different. Whether they achieve an orgasm is entirely dependant on a host of requirements, including but not limited to: the guy’s sexual ability, the female’s knowledge of how her body works, and her mood at the time of sex. Then there’s the added headache (for us!) of women faking orgasms just to please us and keep our egos in check. All combined, giving a girl an orgasm - and realizing that we have - is usually a tricky business for most guys.
But there ARE things you can do to ensure you stand the absolute best chance of bringing your partner or partners to the highest possible point of sexual pleasure. These are concepts most men never hear of or, if they do, never try – because, to be honest, if they did give them a whirl, the female orgasm really wouldn’t be such an elusive, unattainable thing. Here they are: the techniques and strategies you should use to give a woman an orgasm…every time.
1. PROPER BUILD-UP. Sexual satisfaction and stimulation happens in two different ways: in the mind, and in the body. Many men forget about this balance of the mental and physical, and rush into penetrative sex too quickly, with too much pace. Instead you need to start slow and gradually intensify the attention you give the girl and the actions you perform. So, begin intercourse with slow strokes that vary in depth and angle. Doing this does two things. First, it warms the woman up physically and allows her body to fully accept and accommodate you. Second, it gives you a vital opportunity to watch for what type of stroke speed, depth and angle stimulates the girl the most and pleasures her to the highest degree. Listen to her moans, watch her eyes and try to sense her excitement levels as you vary your technique.
2. DISPLAY YOUR FOCUS. Don’t be afraid to make it obvious that your main goal is pleasuring her as much as you possibly can. Many men feel as if it makes them seem soppy or subordinate to display a desire to only pleasure the female and forget about themselves, but this is a mistake. When you show how much you care about showing her a good time, you achieve three things. First, you turn her on emotionally and mentally (which, as I just mentioned, is vital). Second, you open up healthy communication between the two of you – she can verbally tell you what feels the best and where you should focus. The third reason is the simplest of all: the more you focus your attention on something, the more likely you are to achieve your goal.
3. DOUBLE STIMULATION. Most women achieve their orgasms from external, clitoral stimulation and not penetrative, vaginal sex. So, focus plenty of attention on pleasuring her with your fingers or orally AND giving her external gratification (such as rubbing her clit lightly in a circular motion with the tips of your index, middle and ring fingers) while partaking in actual intercourse. This more than doubles the chance of reaching orgasm.
It’s important we sum up what we’ve just been over – doing so locks the information in your head and makes it easy for you to use it next time you ‘get it on’. First, take it slow and watch for her reactions. When you see her react strongly and positively, remember what action or stroke type or sex position you used. SHOW HER you care about making her feel good. Not only does it make her feel turned on but also automatically more willing and eager to return the favour…in spades! Lastly, vary the action. Mix up intercourse with external stimulation to really boost her pleasure. If you do everything you’ve read here, you’re guaranteed to improve your sex life and the number of orgasms your girl has in it. So give it a go!
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